[13]
Here is a nice little letter from Cousin Sarah. Does
she not talk like a good girl? [do not have the letter]
Waterloo (Near Bridge Port Miss.)
Feb. 7th 1865
My dear affectionate wife;
Your good long and affectionate letter mailed 25th Jan. was received a day
or two since and has been read several times giving renewed, and new pleasure.
But first; why should we ask questions of each other. Have you not noticed
that frequently if not always when one of us asks a question we find it
anticipated and answered before it reaches its destination. This is surely
evidence of a great sympathy and symilarity of feeling and to me seems to
indicate sameness of purpose.
In my last to you, I asked whether Myrtle walked as though her limbs were
strong &c. In your last, written some days before mine, gives the desired
information. But surely in your last effort you have concentrated the sum
of all praise and lavished it upon our babe. I never read anything before
in my life, that affected me as did your exclamation of, "Oh! she is the
merriest little sunbeam you ever saw." Dear Cornelia; you need try no longer,
for surely this is the climax of beautiful similie.
I should of course delight to see her
walking and hear her talking but "it is bliss to me, to know that thou
art blessed."
I was sorry to hear that Carrie & Sallie were not well but hope they are
all right before this.
Glad to hear that Will's folks feel
so hopeful and may they not be disappointed!
I had not known that Mr. Ellingwood was deceased until you spoke of attending
the funeral.
Another & still another of our countrymen
is devoured, and yet the savage jaws and captious maw of the great beast
are not satisfied. But let him have his fill of human gore, and do his
worst to render the world desolate, there will be joy still, and happiness;
serene and pleasant quiet; friendship will still be free & the warm heart
of love will beat as truly for its object! But here is a question. I suppose
that I sleep as well as most of my comrades but I can't say that I should
be very loth to exchange my couch and bed fellow for a good bed and you
to sleep with. I often on retiring extend an arm for your pillow then
bring the other over as if to enfold you, trying to imagine you there,
as I go to sleep. But this looks very silly on paper. I am glad that you
are always so happy and as satisfied with your choice of a husband as
you have always assured me is the case; and I feel called upon to do all
in my power to be as good as you think me. Yes, yes; I know that a look
and a word sealed with a kiss, would tell much more than can ever be written;
but these little assurances are at last more valuable than gold or diamonds.
They tell of a heart, in a far off land,
Of a truthful, loved, congenial soul,
That clings to our own, on the troubled strand,
As the needle points to the fixed pole.
But I have not time to extend this style as I could
wish. Goodnight!
Wednesday morning.
It is doubly fitting that I write to you today, this being my mortal (?)
day & baby just fourteen months old. What beauty in these little way marks
that time's car must pass.
But I had not finished responding to
your letter. The poem from which you transcribe one Stanza is indeed beautiful.
Hope that sometime you will be able to procure it for your scrap book
for I have by no means given up the hope of studying book keeping after
which we shall have several volumes to fill with choice selections. O
no! Cornelia, I do not, nor ever did, for a moment doubt the existence
nor the justice love and wisdom of an All Wise creator.
But I see a little further. Beyond this, all teachings seem more like
favorite themes and assertions of creed mongers, than like Sacred realities.
Beyond this, all seems founded upon the faith of man, mortal sinful man;
that will not be good for goodness sake, then how much less, will he be
good to gain life ever lasting. He will not be good for temporary bliss,
then of course he will not be good for future bliss.
I constantly hear men assert that they believe and are fully persuaded
that Heaven and hell are certain realities; then open their mouths filled
with curses, profanity and obscene language. It always grieves me very
much, though I do not see so clearly as they profess to.
It always seems to me that we cannot
be sufficiently good and grateful for the blessings showered upon us here;
and that a man who is always indulging in a vulgar conversation disrespectful
of the opposite sex is ungrateful to the mother that bore him and unworthy
the blessed love of a good wife. Then how can such a one aspire to be
a child of Heaven; even though he vow the greatest faith?
Mind I do not claim to be one of these,
but I have heard such offering very devout prayers.
But now dear Cornelia I may be chilled
and hardened by this long estrangement from all that is tender and Heaven
like. I Shall try oh! so hard to be good and true both to you and God,
loving, hoping and trusting that all will be well and in accordance with
his will.
Give yourself not the least trouble
about me, for there is no such thing possible as to sin and escape punishment
or merit and not receive reward, at some time, or in some way.
So I must again bid you farewell! Be
good and happy, trusting ever that the Will of the Omnipotent will be
done. I have enjoyed so much in the last few years, that I shall never
be able to discharge the debt of gratitude. Kiss our babe and tell her
I love her.
Ty
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